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Newsletter Archive
This page will contain articles from past issues of our quarterly newsletter. Because we have only recently re-launched the site and started this feature, these two articles have yet to appear in our first newsletter. You're getting a sneak preview! If you'd like to share some feedback about Tall Dates.com or your dating experiences, please send us an email.
 
Taller Dating Online: Powerful Profiles

Before you create your first profile, you should get clear about what you want it to do. Once you're clear about what you want, it will be easier to ask for it. There are so many choices out there, so there is no reason to waste time with incompatible matches. Some guys are looking for a quick connection while others are looking for something more meaningfull...

Creating a Great Profile

Tall Dates.com makes it easy for you to create TWO FREE PROFILES so you can target your responses. Basic members can create THREE! To take full advantage of the system, you'll first have to decide what you're after. You could create one profile for dating, romance and a committed partnership while setting up the second one for hot, unadulterated, sweaty sex. Now you don't have to turn off Mr. Right coz you're horney for Mr. Right-Now. You could create one to attract other tall guys and one to find shorter admirers; whatever your strategy, it's all up to you.

Once you've decided what you really want, try to follow these few simple guidelines for amazing results:

Create a sound bite. Summarize what you’re looking for and use it as your posting title. In other words, condense what you’re looking for into one short sentence and use it as your posting title. People tend to scan the search results quickly so your title is the first chance to show them a little bit more of yourself beyond a photo and some stats. To draw the best people in, you have to know what you want, so get that idea first.

Use English properly. I no going read some ads with not good grammar. Amd too many spelling mistaeks make you look imamture even wehn yuo're only typnig too fast. Slow down and think abuot waht yuo're tpynig.

Provide all your stats. We want to know ALL your stats, not just a couple...or one. Yes you can change and update your profile at anytime, but anything about you could be important to someone else so why leave it out? Even if the items aren't important to you when making a connection, completing the whole questionaire means there's more information about you to catch someone's eye.

Be Specific. Detail is the name of the game with the open ended question. Your free-form answers will help target your profile to find guys with similar interests. What exactly are you looking to do with another man? Do you like to go to the movies on the weekend? Are you a top? Do you wish to get foot-fucked? How many times a week do you go dancing? Let’s hear it all please.

If you're looking for a short term relationship in a profile, you can make your ad hotter by spelling out your inner fantasy – it will translate online and attract the guys you want to be with. Don’t be vague or shy.

If you're looking for a longer-term relationship in a profile, you'll have to be willing to be a little vulnerable about yourself. You could write about where you're at in your life and how you got there. If you can describe your life in realistic details, you'll attract guys with similar interests. Being realistic means for example, if you haven't been camping or hiking for three years don't make it sound like you're Mr. Outdoors-Adventurer or ready to be a cast-away on the next season of Survivor.

Great things to write about might include: your career, your main interests outside of work (Are you a partier or a homebody, etc.), your general personality traits (outgoing, introverted, etc.), your goals in life, and how you like to spend your free time. Just remember to be specific and you'll get specific results that align with the goal of your profile.

Add a pic. We've all heard that 'a picture is worth a thousand words' but in the world of online dating, it can mean a lot more responses to your profile in a short amount of time. We recommend a clear headshot in jpeg format as your first photo. Your other pictures can be full body shots, photos of you and your loved ones or a snapshot of you engaged in your favorite hobby. Tall Dates FREE members can upload two pictures and basic members can upload SIX! Photos are wonderful ways to tell more about you. If you don't have a digital camera, find someone who does. In some areas, they even have disposable digital cameras and photo CD options when developing your regular film.

Add a great pic. If you don't have any pictures you like, or all the ones you have of yourself are over three months old; you'll want to get some new ones. You could ask a close friend or co-worker to take a few staged "candid" shots or you might try a professional photo shoot. Many gay photographers now offer special packages for online dating at reasonable rates. If you haven't considered yourself very photogenic in the past, a professional photo might make all the difference.

Get the pix you want. If you require pics of certain parts, please say so. If you say “Your pic gets mine” and aren’t satisfied with pics of the guy’s left nostril, hairy asshole and tar-stained teeth then tell guys exactly which pix to send. Again this reduces the number of back-and-forth messaging.

ALWAYS REMEMBER BASIC ONLINE ETIQUETTE:
If you get a response to your profile and you aren’t interested in the guy, don’t just toss his note. Instead, let him know that you've heard from him and be honest about your incompatability. If you don't know what to say, you can copy and paste this response back to him: “Thanks for your interest but we're not really a match. Good luck in your search.”

Your reply let’s him know you’re not interested and, if his attitude is more mature than a high school student’s, he won't get mad but instead will feel better because of your response. You can then focus on finding someone you can 'click' with. And finding guys to 'click' with is what Tall Dates.com is all about! So, good luck in your search!!!


Dating Taller Means Making Contact

Personal profiles are sort of like online billboards, advertising you. Once you've created your profile, now it is time to actually reach out to a stranger and try to establish a good rapport - preferably right off the bat.

Unfortunately, this is easy to screw up.

There will be two situations when you'll be writing to someone: either you will have found a man's personal profile, and intrigued by it you will seek contact; or you will be answering a note from a guy who found one of your own profiles and he's decided he wants to know you better.

In either situation, you'll want to review some of our tips about what to say, or at least how to say it:

Don't use form letters when making contact. This means you don't keep a copy of the same message and send it to all the guys you want to meet. Generic e-mails like that just aren't impressive, and come off as impersonal and somewhat thoughtless.

Because they are so impersonal, you CAN use a form letter when politely rebuffing some unwanted attention and the recipient won't take it personally.

Customize your message. Say something you'd like to say to the guy if you met in person: pick out a few things out of their ad, or out of the message you receive, and add some of your own personal thoughts. Try commenting on the guy's picture if there is one or highlight an area of common interest, "Hey, I like action movies too! Have you seen...."

Write a concise headline and put it in the "Subject:" line. If your recipient receives a lot of messages, he will be more likely to notice yours if it stands out from the crowd. It's good to use a little humor here - wit is always compelling.

If you aren't naturally witty, don't force it and go for something simple instead.

Structure the message like a conversation. By creating a conversational flow, you add an important personal touch to the communication. In addition to writing about yourself, comment on your recipient's profile, or previous emails and ask open-ended questions. Let them know you are interested in who they are, and that you want to know more about their beliefs, thoughts and interests. These connections will be the beginning of any future relationship.

If the guy is only looking for a short-term connection, keep the communication short too. A lot of back-and-forth messages are not required when you're serious about meeting for a short-term adventure. The first contact will establish a mutual attraction with stats or a few sentences about what you want to do together and will end with 'check out my profile'. The second round of contact will give all the relevant hook-up information.

Stay away from heavy subjects. Having a shoulder to cry on is great, however you barely know the person you are writing to, so keep the intimacy at an appropriate level. Comments about problems with your e-mail software are ok; details about a recent illness are not. When the friendship is strong enough, you can gradually disclose personal information that may be difficult to hear or understand.

Remain Upbeat. Keep your emails upbeat, positive, optimistic and fun. Think about the feelings you want your email to convey. Make your reader smile and want more. Positive emails are more likely to receive a return message. Avoid complaining, putting people down, feeling sorry for yourself or any relationship drama. Negative people are perceived to be unattractive.

Know that your honesty will be rewarded. As in writing your profile, when making first contact with others, honesty is the most important aspect of communicating. Eventually, you may be asked to live up to your own advertising. It's fine to emphasize your winning attributes or life accomplishments. The trick is to embellish without significantly exaggerating or making the whole thing up. Fantasy is only fun when you're honest about it, otherwise it's not fantasy it becomes fraud. If you're having trouble pinpointing the real you and what makes you special, ask a friend. Remember that healthy relationships both short-term or long are built on a foundation of trust.

Don't say anything that might inadvertently spook the reader. Watch for words or concepts that might make your reader concerned or uncomfortable. Sarcasm doesn't translate well online and if you're not adept at emoticons ;-p don't use them. Be aware that certain expressions may be misunderstood. You may think "living in solitude" suggests a quiet, contemplative life. The reader may think it means being lonely and out of touch at best and pathetic and trollish at worst.

Avoid whining, swearing and any expressions of anger or desperateness. If you suspect that something you write might be misconstrued, then it probably will be. Skip it.

Presentation Is Important! The details do matter. Grammatically weak, misspelled or incorrectly punctuated profiles convey a sense of ignorance or thoughtlessness and general sloppiness - not a terrific first impression. Show that you care enough to proofread your profile. Avoid run-on sentences, writing in all caps (Online, it's perceived as yelling) and over-using tired emotions. It's OK to play with language to show your uniqueness and creativity, but make sure your efforts are obvious and won't be perceived as a mistake.

Hopefully, these suggestions will help you put your best foot forward when communicating online.

 
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